3 things can be true at the same time

Perspective, Hypothetical, and Reciprocal. The definitions of all three are here

• Perspective - one's point of view

• Hypothetical - Something imagined or a could-have-been

• Reciprocal - both sides coinciding

This is something I came to terms with while writing lyrics for a song about my son's departure into the military. I tend to only write music based on real-life experiences, never anything otherwise, but during this process, there were some situations I had to write in hypothetical form in order to tell the whole story of the what's, whys, and happenings. And if you actually put each song in order, they will give you the whole story.

Back to why only real experiences, because that's when you know how it feels. You can't write with feeling about a situation you've never been in. For example, I also like to write in the moment because it's then I do my best writing, because it's raw. Any songwriter will tell you this.

But here's the thing, my son left for boot camp, I started to write and not finish a bunch of lyrics. Everything was chaotic, and that's not how I like to work. But I was in the moment, so that's why I did that. So I wrote down important details and feelings of that moment.

As time went on, things changed, feelings changed, and so did direction. So my writing on this subject alone shifted.

Ultimately, it ended with the hypothetical song. And I am going to explain each one in separate paragraphs and give you guys a piece of lyrics to each one. But instead of trying to fit the whole experience into one song, I wrote a different one for each.

The Letters

This is the first song I wrote. It's called The Letters. This one I did try to squeeze in the hypotheticals and both sides, and it was too much for one song, so I revised it a few times. Basically saying, "Okay, this one is just going to focus on myself and my feelings through the boot camp process."

The song starts off with how I go back and reread the letters he sent from boot camp. Then it goes into reminiscing about our last night together at a fire convention party and a full moon (you'll probably hear either this or sunset references in all three songs) and how I wasn't worried and I was strong. Then it jumps ahead to an "if I only knew" scenario. This song will take you through the entire process of feelings in the exact timeline it went, and it ends with the moto run and graduation and realization.

I'm Letting You Go Now

Now this song was the hypothetical one. Background for context: we were planning to fully move to NC to be with my son. But after many conversations and thinking, it was me just following him because being able to let him go wasn't something I could do easily, and this was easy to point out when someone asked, "If he left NC, would you stay in NC or go with him?" I said go with him. So uprooting my whole life for another state wasn't worth it because I wasn't in it for the right reasons.

So the song circles that, focuses on me, in a hypothetical way, up and moving to be near him in NC. It starts off as a very happy move on both parts, but after a while, he wanted to do his own thing with his friends and the military, and I was sitting alone at home with no friends or family because I left all of that for my son. My son becomes silent when I get too pushy or smothering. I am thinking, "He wants nothing to do with me now," and he's thinking, "I just need my space to grow." I come to the realization he needed to grow without me. He wanted me there for the fact he still NEEDS his mother, and I wanted to be there so he could still need me. But the cycle had to break of always relying on each other for everything and cutting the cord and letting him grow on his own using all my teachings. By the end, I decided to leave during a hurricane, giving him one last motherly piece of advice, and I get in my car and proceed to drive 95 North back to New York, in the middle of the hurricane as it changes to snow up north. As I am driving north, I am pointing out landmarks and popular places, at the very end, I try to turn around to go back by the time I am in Pennsylvania, but when I look back all that was there was an abyss. Metaphorically saying, you can't go back, there's nothing actually there for you, you need to live separate lives. I think this one all parents can relate to, not just military, and it's also a work in progress, but I'll post lyrics that I finalized.

WIP

The last one i have not even started yet, I have an idea and a concept but i have yet to get enough on paper. I have written a few ideas for bridges and stuff but no title or lyrics that are finalized yet

Why?

This is my way of coping with anything, lost, love, happy moments, sad times, letting go, holding on,

I sit here and I use writing to navigate around my feelings. Its the only way I can healthy, cope with certain things. So be prepared for more!